Gosh this was so timely for me Michelle. I was blindsided by a pregnancy announcement this morning from someone I thought of as a "safe" person and I'm still reeling. Finding this utterly destabilising and experiencing a totally irrational (but deep and powerful) sense of bertrayal is definitely a "me problem" too. I also feel so hurt that there was no acknowledgement that it might be in any way painful for me. I think that now that I have a living child there's an assumption that all the grief and trauma has evaporated and there is no need to tread with care around my broken heart. Sending love and thanks ❤️
Oh Louise, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm not surprised that you are still reeling - I think it takes a good while for the shock to subside and our nervous system to regulate. I agree that once there is a living child, it is easy to forget that the trauma continues to exist. Go easy today and for the rest of the week. You're definitely not alone in these emotions ❤️
Thank you so much for putting words to how I’ve been feeling with recent pregnancy announcements 💜 betrayal, jealousy, anger, shame - so many uncomfortable feelings that I’ve felt completely unable to voice because how ‘awful’ to feel these things about someone’s happy news. But it’s visceral and all consuming, it’s too hard to ignore. If so many of us feel it, maybe it doesn’t have to be a ‘me problem’…? Maybe it can be a collective ‘us’ experience that really, really sucks. Sending love to everyone feeling this right now. X
Lauren, I feel this deeply - so many uncomfortable feelings but they just are too important to ignore. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that we aren't alone in these ❤️
I needed this, thank you. I lost my girl at 37 weeks last October and 3 of my 'safe' people have announced they're pregnant and giving birth in Sept/ Oct/ Nov this year, which is so incredibly painful. Receiving those messages felt very much like, dare I say it, they had betrayed me. So to read your words today have given me such comfort. I resinated with so much of what you have written, especially the part about those moments when you find yourself spiralling and questioning whether other women have been braver and stronger, but I know there is no good that can come from delving into these thoughts. There will be a lot of muting shared groups and social media for now, which is so isolating and adds a new dimension to my grief which I could do without, but reading your words remind me I'm not alone ❤️ Thank you again!
Oh Laura, these particular announcements are so painful so I hope you can do everything you need to in order to protect your heart. You are most certainly not alone ❤️
Thanks as always Michelle. I have tried to articulate to close family how the arrival of our son who we got to bring home has changed rather than mitigated the way I feel about pregnancy announcements. I recently got very angry at what I perceived to be a ‘frivolous’ announcement of a pregnancy on social media and it took a lot of introspection to reconcile myself with that angry part of myself- and also to forgive it. It was definitely rooted in jealousy, and I definitely carry with that a lot of shame. Thank you for baring these emotions so openly, candidly and generously. I feel so much less alone.
I really relate to that sense of finding some announcements frivolous Ellie - such a great word to describe it. It's so important (and so hard) to allow space for the feelings without judgement, as I really think that is the key to finding compassion. For ourselves and others. You are most certainly not alone ❤️
Gosh this was so timely for me Michelle. I was blindsided by a pregnancy announcement this morning from someone I thought of as a "safe" person and I'm still reeling. Finding this utterly destabilising and experiencing a totally irrational (but deep and powerful) sense of bertrayal is definitely a "me problem" too. I also feel so hurt that there was no acknowledgement that it might be in any way painful for me. I think that now that I have a living child there's an assumption that all the grief and trauma has evaporated and there is no need to tread with care around my broken heart. Sending love and thanks ❤️
Oh Louise, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm not surprised that you are still reeling - I think it takes a good while for the shock to subside and our nervous system to regulate. I agree that once there is a living child, it is easy to forget that the trauma continues to exist. Go easy today and for the rest of the week. You're definitely not alone in these emotions ❤️
Thank you so much for putting words to how I’ve been feeling with recent pregnancy announcements 💜 betrayal, jealousy, anger, shame - so many uncomfortable feelings that I’ve felt completely unable to voice because how ‘awful’ to feel these things about someone’s happy news. But it’s visceral and all consuming, it’s too hard to ignore. If so many of us feel it, maybe it doesn’t have to be a ‘me problem’…? Maybe it can be a collective ‘us’ experience that really, really sucks. Sending love to everyone feeling this right now. X
Lauren, I feel this deeply - so many uncomfortable feelings but they just are too important to ignore. There is a lot of comfort in knowing that we aren't alone in these ❤️
I needed this, thank you. I lost my girl at 37 weeks last October and 3 of my 'safe' people have announced they're pregnant and giving birth in Sept/ Oct/ Nov this year, which is so incredibly painful. Receiving those messages felt very much like, dare I say it, they had betrayed me. So to read your words today have given me such comfort. I resinated with so much of what you have written, especially the part about those moments when you find yourself spiralling and questioning whether other women have been braver and stronger, but I know there is no good that can come from delving into these thoughts. There will be a lot of muting shared groups and social media for now, which is so isolating and adds a new dimension to my grief which I could do without, but reading your words remind me I'm not alone ❤️ Thank you again!
Oh Laura, these particular announcements are so painful so I hope you can do everything you need to in order to protect your heart. You are most certainly not alone ❤️
Thanks as always Michelle. I have tried to articulate to close family how the arrival of our son who we got to bring home has changed rather than mitigated the way I feel about pregnancy announcements. I recently got very angry at what I perceived to be a ‘frivolous’ announcement of a pregnancy on social media and it took a lot of introspection to reconcile myself with that angry part of myself- and also to forgive it. It was definitely rooted in jealousy, and I definitely carry with that a lot of shame. Thank you for baring these emotions so openly, candidly and generously. I feel so much less alone.
I really relate to that sense of finding some announcements frivolous Ellie - such a great word to describe it. It's so important (and so hard) to allow space for the feelings without judgement, as I really think that is the key to finding compassion. For ourselves and others. You are most certainly not alone ❤️